we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
