I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
