I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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