Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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