In America we eat man semen.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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