I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
