i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
