whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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