Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
