you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He did a backflip because drugs
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
