is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
