I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
