I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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