Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
