he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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