508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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