Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize