party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
