Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
