He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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