Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
