My balls are so social today.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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