You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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