I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
