If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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