we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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