we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
