Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
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Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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