Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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