My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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