he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize