when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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