I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
