Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
