I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
