i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Boobs are out for the taking
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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