I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
