Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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