It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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