Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
