There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
