I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
