VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
