I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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