just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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