i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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