Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You made out with two different species that night
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
