What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
