I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
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I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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