im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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