Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
