uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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