I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
