Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
