You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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