someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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