I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
