shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
