i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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