Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize