Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
