just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
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